I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
