I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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