I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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