what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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