I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
