question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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