So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
