I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize