i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize