I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
