Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you had me at cake vodka
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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