dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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