Cold hands, warm shart.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
