he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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