I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize