i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
