Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
