I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
is wine microwaveable?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
