I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
