my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
