I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
