well I can't set my house on fire every night
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
