you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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