put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
