I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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