Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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