At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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