Sponge bath it is.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
