This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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