i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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