Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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