drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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