Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
