You're so nebulous sometimes
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
