she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
