honey bunches of taint.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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