I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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