Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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