i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it's great music for shaving your balls
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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