wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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