I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I met the friendliest cop last night
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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