When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
