One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
