Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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