Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
