I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Fuck appropriateness.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
