Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I've blown a few things in my day
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
