i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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