there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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