We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
MIDGETS
????
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize