When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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