Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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