soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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