i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
