just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
