He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
