My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
