just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
