i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
