Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
