I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My vagina is very pro this idea
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