I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize