Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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