just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
