How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
worst night to have a conscience
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
