I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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