dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
There's always time for handjobs
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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