The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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