Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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