If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
